Impatience

Original: 13th Sept, 2010

It’s difficult trying to get myself to sit down to draw feeling patient enough to know I’m going to be there for a while. Perhaps I’m too easily distracted. I might have better luck if I had a desk somewhere away from distractions where I could just sit and draw and not feel like I’m going to want to do something else ‘any minute’, but instead I sit at my computer and have all manner of distractions the internet has to offer me while I doodle away unfocused and without direction in Photoshop. I have no better workspace to retreat to though, unfortunately…

This is the fruit of today’s labour. Some sort of fat donkey/horse thing, which I drew without reference just to see how well I’d do. I think the hind legs (and probably everything else!1 o_O) are probably all wrong, so I should probably uh… study those more. I should study more in general, but I keep wanting to avoid art because it seems to be a good way for me to feel disappointed in myself, what with it rubbing in my face that I’m not as good at drawing as I’d LIKE to be at this point in time… So instead of just drawing for the sake of enjoyment, I draw to try to impress myself, and since I have such high expectations of myself, I’m not easy to impress…

Maybe I’d feel better if I’d not let myself essentially get ‘rusty’ again by avoiding drawing for one or two weeks or however long it’s been.

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